Monday, November 1st

This weekend I made these cookies. Damn they were good. Like all cookies, they were best straight out of the oven, warm and gooey and crispy on the edges. I took them to a friend's house and we played the card game Euchre. I love playing games.

I was reading the blog written by the owner of the store Bookhou, and saw these amazing bronze cast whales. Seriously, so beautiful. Whales are so incredible. There is an amazing article written by Charles Siebert about whales here. Siebert has a gift for writing about animals, he has also written a few other pieces for the NYT Magazine about animals, one is about elephants, and the other is about abuse and dogs. He interprets research about animals so well, and demonstrates some very human characteristics of animals without anthropomorphizing. His article about whales brought tears to my eyes.

Anyway, I am keeping on keeping on, what with the packing, the job applications, etc. And thinking a lot about the house and what I want to do when we move in. I am thinking about attempting to construct something like this or this on either side of our fireplace in the living room.

Downer

I'm feeling pretty down today. Don't know why, the sun is shining, the leaves are beautiful, and life is pretty good.

I'm just feeling depressed about my job search: 75 jobs applied for, and counting... I thought grad school would really open up possibilities to me. I feel like I have so much to offer and yet I can't even get an interview to convince anyone of how awesome I am.

I went for a drive to run some errands and thought about how much I miss my family.

Thought about how hard it is maintaing relationships with my many siblings, and mostly how much I wish I could help out, or just be there, especially with some seriously difficult stuff going on. I also miss being there for the normal day-to-day stuff. Sunday dinner, casual hang-outs, Fall walks, etc. Some times living across the country is harder than other times, when it doesn't feel as challenging. Sometimes life just feels hard, even though I know that it is so very much harder for most people in the world. Maybe I just mean that it feels emotionally difficult.

Packing

Wow. We have a lot of stuff. An overwhelming amount of books. What you see here is a fraction of what we have. Started packing today, these are the before photos, but I've barely made a dent.

Hopefully when we move, that hideous gold? brown? chair can be hidden away somewhere (or accidentally left on a curb?) And why are TV's so hideous? Glad that we will be able to have the TV somewhere that isn't our main living space.

Started doing yoga again and have been going regularly (for less than a week, but it's a start). I feel like it will be good to have some kind of physical outlet for the stress that will be the moving and packing process.

Antiquing

Some lovely lady friends and I embarked on a delightful day trip out into the countryside for some antiquing here. The drive was gorgeous. Wish I had taken some photos of the beautiful fall colours.

I didn't buy much, just that little wooden Czechoslovakian soldier on the left up there, which caught my eye right when I first walked in and after perusing the rest of the store I had to go back and get it. I should have maybe bought that tube of bricks. My grandparents had those bricks at their house, and when I was growing up we would often play with them, I am sure they belonged to my father and his siblings way back, but it's weird to see stuff at an antique store that was part of your history.

I also bought a hand-coloured engraving of a strange-looking bull. Even though our walls are currently covered in art and we have a back log of more stuff to put up, we'll be moving soon and there'll be fresh walls galore.

The market is in an old mill and is giant, I could spend even more hours in there than we did. We followed up our shopping with cider and fish and chips in a nearby pub. Quite a pleasant day (until hitting terrible traffic upon our return to the city, but I won't dwell on that)

Holidays

L's mum rented an amazing 200 year old house on Lake Erie. The weekend was beautiful, almost warm enough for swimming. We gorged ourselves on the usual Thanksgiving food and played many, MANY rounds of this awesome game. And also many rounds of Euchre and Hearts. Playing games and lounging around is maybe the best time. Good food, good wine, and good people makes for good times. I feel very lucky to have such fun family in-laws to hang around with. My only wish while we were away was that my parents and 15 siblings, and their partners, and my nephews and niece could have also been there and not 3000 miles away. But, then things would have been a little less relaxing, I suppose, gotta look at the bright side.

Home?

We are tentatively, conditionally, owners of this house! Very exciting! We are awaiting a home inspection and then, in November, if all goes well, we will live there. Amazing. Feeling very grown-up.... marriage, and now home ownership! Embarrassingly grown-up.

Am thinking of making this blog less anonymous, ie: actually posting photos that might include myself in them. Just not sure how I feel about being fully "out" online. What do others think about this? I am assuming most people reading this already know me in real life anyway... does it make any difference?

Life

L and I have decided to start looking for a bigger place to live. This is exciting, our current abode is jam packed with books and the detritus of two pack rats. I am looking forward to more space, more storage, and perhaps a new neighbourhood to get to know.

This is in the midst of my job search. In a way it is good to have something else to focus on. I have been applying for oodles of jobs (45 in the last few weeks) and have received no responses. It's a little disheartening, especially since I feel that I have so much to offer. It's deflating, after finishing my MA, handing in my thesis, and feeling quite educated and qualified, to find out maybe I am not. I have also heard that some of the jobs I have applied for have received over 1000 resumés.: how can I compete in a job market like that? It's hard not to feel down about this, but I know that things will work out.