Struggling

I am really struggling with some of what I need to talk about in my writing. Struggling with ideas I am not totally comfortable with. Topics I need to touch on that make me feel uneasy and concerned about representing the people who so generously have shared their stories with me.

There's a book I ordered from the library "The Vulnerable Observer: Anthropology that Breaks Your Heart." That's how I feel right now. Not necessarily about the research I have done but about some of the ideas I am talking about. Not knowing where I stand on an issue makes it difficult to write about, yet I avoid examining my feelings. I think this is why sometimes I stall in my writing--not knowing where I stand I simply avoid writing about something--this is not productive. I need to face these ideas even if it makes me uncomfortable and feel somewhat physically queasy. I have often preferred to straddle a fence on a topic, I don't like this about myself but it helps to avoid arguments.